Good things about running when it is very cold.

-Your eyelashes look kind of pretty when there is frost on them- snow queen!
- you get get strengthen feet and leg muscles that you would never use in any other situation.
-you get to wear many layers of clothes that you never use.
-you feel warm for the rest of the day.
- you feel so much faster when winter is over
- you can wear shorts when its thirty degrees because it feels like a heat wave.
- you barely sweat and don't feel as compelled to shower.
- warm drinks are all the more appreciated afterwards.
- you have rosy cheeks
-your shoes stay clean b/c there is no dirt
- you can re wear clothes for several days
- you get smart wool for christmas
-it brings people together
-you feel accomplished
- you get to have very porcelain colored skin that all other runners envy when you put on your track uniform

MIDWEST LOVE

Big POPPA

I like it when you call me big POPPA.
Throw yo hands in the air,
if you's a true playa,
cuz I see sum ladies 2night that should be havin' my baby....

Babbbbaaay

Christmas

We got a tree yesterday three days before christmas.  Since we waited this long there were only the short trees with pine needle branches left.  Fortunately we prefer to have a charlie brown looking tree.  It stops about 4 feet before reaching the ceiling.  I hope that this year I can really focus on the true joy of Christmas which is the birth of Christ.  I am really guilty of getting all caught up in the consumption of material and food around this time of year when the celebration is so much more meaningful than this! I feel really thankful to be able to come home to a family who shows such great love and I hope I can practice the love of Christ towards others this season- I know I have really been shown it!

Jesus is born!

CLEANSE

So yesterday a person told me about the "ten day cleanse." I had never heard of the thing, but I guess you are supposed to eat all natural foods for ten days.  This means no sugar or caffeine or carbs and such.  I guess if you make it ten days your body had shed out all of the toxins and waste.  Since it is impossible for me to do the ten day cleanse and continue running I decided I am going to try a modified cleanse where I am still going to eat foods that I need to have energy from.  It is my understanding that the purpose of the cleanse is not to lose any weight because you can eat as large of quantities of food as you would like, it is more from physical and mental renewal!

Day one of the cleanse:

Extreme headache lasting from nine am to one pm because I had not been without coffee in the morning anytime in the past two years.
A great feeling of nausea and like I was going to throw up at one point.
Lots of fiber= lots of, well, you know, cleansing.


Anyhow day one has been a little rough, but I hear by day 5 the cleansing begins to take effect! I wish for the toxins from my innards to be gone!

A good old fashioned pity party

Sometimes it is just necessary.  After a week of finals and choas.  Biting four fingernails until they bleed.  Getting the worst grade I have ever gotten since being in college in a class I spent as much time studying for as all my other classes combined.  Sleeping not enough.  It was bound to happen.  So yesterday I woke up and my mom hugged me and I cried a good cry, but then it was time to go to mass so I had to stop.  I thought it was over.  do do do do do do.

.... go to church, go running, start to learn how to do weights that russell the lifting coach assigned.  My little sisters came down to be pleasant and I told them to go away because I was being a b**** and did not want to be and they did not do anything wrong but I was just so unpleasant.  O SHOOT. here it is.  halfway through the trying to learn fabulous new medicine ball exercises the tears began to form, the rests became longer, the sitting on the ground increased......bam.  A full throttle cry session right on the yoga mat in all my running clothes.  Thank God for parents and towels that absorb snot and GOD.

It's funny how you try so so so hard to avoid this happening.  I mean all week I would study and when not studying I would make crafts or wrap prezzies or bake or shovel or run errands.  I was rushing around not thinking and turning my music up so loud to avoid falling when I know I am going to fall sometime anyhow. Am I trying to fool myself into thinking I'm perfect ooooorrr...? Well anyhow.  The pity party lasted the greater portion of the entire day and ended with the consumption of large amounts of my aunts turtle cheesecake, a food coma sleep session lasting over ten hours, and VERY puffy eyes this morning.

And of course, most importantly, the reminder that.... I can do all things through Christ (Phil. 4.13) and also I can do NOTHING without him on my own.

December baby

Winter has arrived fiercely.  Monday we were running in shorts and now all of the sudden I have to wear many layers and my body works much harder to maintain a normal temperature than to run quickly.  I do not so much enjoy the cold in any way.  However there are many goodness things that cold brings.  For example, in the winter it is the most wonderful thing just to cuddle in bed or drink tea or have soup or feel warmth for minimal periods of time.  Fires seem really special and Christmas lights make me feel joyful

I wish my house looked like this:

However, it does not and never will.  I think this light display is also extremely wasteful and harmful to the environment but still it would be nice to have just for a moment.

I also miss the sunshine.  Sometimes when I see it peaking out I try to stand in it for as long as possible and then it usually disappears again within seconds- however will I obtain vitamin d if I am not receiving it from the greatest supplier?!?! come on mr. sun

On a great note- I watched Bridget Jones's diary yesterday in the middle of the day instead of doing any sort of productive work and it was glorious.  I loved every moment of the movie and hope to get the second one soon. Thank you public library.

Hopeful idears for this month- make gingerbread houses, see the nutracker, watch nonstop xmas movies and listen to music, drink lots of hot cranberry draaaaank and tea, stay warm, NOT DIE OF FROSTBITE, share love with lots and lots of amigas and amigos!!! yeeeaaay!

Yesterday I was at home for the first time in a while and I wanted to do EVERYTHING. I soon realized that doing nothing was far far better.  When I first arrived I found that everything was different and fortunately there was a great addition to the bedroom!!! There was a new pillow that defined the word laughter for me.

According to the pillow laughter is the experience of amusement or joy!!!

I next decided to watch eat, pray, love with my mom and dog.  I realized I think I must have a dog when I live alone after college because they are just so so loving. That was a wonderful part of the day.

Then I decided to get FUNKY. By "getting funky" I mean only that I did things I had never done before.  I found out we have a coffee maker where you put a pouch in and press a button and it makes coffee immediately.  It can also produce espresso and tea all of these WITH FOAM!!! Bad news- it seems kinda bad for the environment. SHIZ.

A great new discovery in the home!!! My sister brought me home bubble bath which was not bubble bath at all but a powder that created weird rashes.  Then I got in the shower and pressed a button and it turned into a steam room!!! Sweet.  So I decided to create my own hot yoga room.  I began doing usual yoga stretches and it actually was way more flexible and easier to stretch when it was really warm.

It was kinda weird doing yoga naked in my parents shower.

Then it became impossible to breath and I thought I was going to faint. My body and hair were dripping wet and I had not even turned on the shower yet.  I decided it is a new invention of a way to train for track meets when they decide to have them in locations where the temperature on the track in 105 degrees and no one competing can breathe or think.  That is what the steam room felt like! PERFECT SOLUTION>$$#!%!!!!

Good things that happened since being home!

Having asparagus quiche was a REALLY good thing

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON

My friend showed me the greatest youtube video of all times!!!

Also I got to share coffee with good friends and just see people! I am happy I was able to see people.  Also a good thing was going with my mom to volunteer.  There is a group that teaches English to refugees and it was a learning experience for me.  I was so frustrated because I wanted to be able for them to understand and I know they were frustrated that we could not understand.  I went to the library and printed the common translations for the leading Ethiopian language and brought them back but it was not the correct dialect.  I was able to see how grateful I am that I can communicate with the people around me.  All the refugees were very smart wonderful people but were so limited because they could not speak our language.  I wish I could speak all languages!!!

Indonesian baby on 40 cigarettes a day

Emily dickinson

So the other day I decided to stay in the public library for hours reading books after eating a very inspiring chocolate truffle.  I came across emily dickinson, whom when forced to read in high school I loathed, but now I have quite a liking for her poetry....

this is her letter to the world

Letter to the world with beautiful music

My heroes of the day!

Lindsay Anderson!! (won her conference meet in Texas) a 5k in 16:45!!! Holy SCHMOOKKES!! yayay I was so very happy for my speedy acquaintance :))

yeah. she is pretty awesome. take that.

Also!! My blood relative (we lived together for 16 years!!) K-flo tore it up out in Seattle and ran a 20:15 6k to take 6th place in the Pac-ten conference meet as a FRESHMAN. yeah, she is really good!  I hope that I can take some of her goodness for our meet tomorrow!!! Yay again!!

(sorry this is an old pic but I could not find a more recent one from Wash)...

ps-- Go hawks! Big tens tomorrow morn!]]

Not something you see everyday

Yesterday I was out and about and I saw an Avatar hopping and running around the ped mall.  I am pretty sure it was a female.  This avatar proceeded to go into capanna and run around.  She has an entirely blue body and an avatar sphere.  I think she was afraid that we were going to try and kill her so she felt the need to protect herself.  Later on I was walking past Starbucks and I saw the female Avatar ordering a drink and sitting down at a table.  I also saw the Avatar sitting at the bar Brothers

some thoughts

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the sucessive autumns."
-George Eliot October 1, 1841

Isn't it kind of cool that something can be written almost two hundred years ago and still make so much sense today? This week was a big week on the level of stress and anxiety(mostly about the future) and things I will never know of course!! But I realized when I was running with my great friends that all the best things like going on a run or having autumn and spring or listening to music or praying or laughing until your stomach hurts.  All of the VERY BEST things will never go away.  No matter what I do or how much I earn or where I live I can always have the best moments.

I also want to say on of the best things in the world is "hot cranberry juice"  Danielle introduced it to me and it is nourishment for the soul.  So much aroma and goodness.

the end.

Fall

Fall is the absolute greatest time of the year. I just feel most alive and the air is so fresh and it makes it joyful just to even breathe and be outside.  The wind is beautiful, the eerie nights and enchanting, and the colors and briskness make things pretty great.  Also...

running weather is best in the fall (This is TOTALLY what I look like when I am running)

Everything is pumpkin and so great! Whether it is pumpkin smoothies, pumpkin cream cheese, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin colored things, or carving pumpkins does not matter- it is all great!

Also Halloween is in the fall! It is also my favorite holiday although I think only my favorite because it is in the fall and I associate all the good smells and weather with it.  None the less- it is coming up!

Also also also! I can not forget the beautiful trees that are everywhere.  Sometimes I just lay beneath them when I have extra time before class.  I also love just staring at them, letting the leaves fall on me, crunching the leaves, smelling the trees, and being overcome with awe.  Thank you trees!

So this weekend was incredibly busy.  But SO worth it.  I got to experience and live a lot.... even if not one single book was opened in the process (whoopsies!)

From October 8th until October 10th there was a meteor shower taking place so on Friday night (after getting the seasonal pumpkin pie blizzard- yummy!!) my friend Duffy and I watched the shower.  It wasn't a real big one or anything, there were only supposed to be 0-15 meteors an hour, but we saw two! So that was still pretty exciting for me!  It did not look anything like the picture below.

Then Saturday morning we woke up kinda early (after staying up kinda late : D) and went to the cru retreat called Fall getaway.  It was a beautiful misty drive and a great day.  We got to hear some great talks, learn about ourselves, embrace the inner holy spirit, sing some crazy good worship songs, AND go hiking and canoeing.  We also were almost mauled by a corn plow machine that took down the corn 5 minutes after we were playing in it.  Crazy how things work....

Then TODAY was SO BUSY AND TIRING.  BUT SO AWESOME!!! I got to wake up and go run some long distances with my best friends and have some good weather and conversations.  Plus also my heel bone protrusion hurt nada. frick chyeah. It was a good practice.  Then I came home and got read to go pick vegetables at a local farm. Local foods connection is this really great program that I just found that works with CSA to provide healthy vegetables and farm foods (eggs, meats, milk, breads, etc.) to people who do not have food.  It is awesome because it is actually allowing the people to get some great nutrition and food that can help empower them! I was able to pick vegetables and help another farmer to clean up her fields.  They even let me keep some veggies! How kind.

To find out more please go to LOCAL FOODS CONNECTION

One last great find on the drive today: ( a great road name)

Never give up on a day

So then the rest of the day happened and it ended up being significantly better :)

I guess I learned that I should never give up on a day!

Megan picked me up and we went to leaf kitchen which ended up being possibly my most favorite restaurant ever to be in Iowa city.  It was so AAAAAAHHHH (me taking a big breath of fresh air).  The tables and chairs were all different and everything was vintage and used and old and wonderful.  There was an entire shelf devoted only to holding butter cookies and there is a tea time every afternoon as well as "green tea cookies" and "earl gray truffles"

These are just a few of the cute wonderful things about the Leaf Kitchen.  Plus our waitress was very nice and pleasant.  Also it is just such a nice thing to just go to a restaurant with another friend and just really enjoy your food and talk and just be present in that very moment.  I am so glad I got to go out to dinner with Megan.  I guess maybe that is why adults always have date nights and such.  Obviously megan and I were not on a date, but I can see how just spending time with another person and valuing their company and just talking and not worrying can be a great thing.  It is nice to take a break from everything and just enjoy a meal at a great place.

Today was just a day.

Today I woke up feeling anxious.  I realized that is just how you feel somedays.

But it was not a bad day.  I felt so happy that the sun was shining so much and I got to eat a honeycrisp apple and I found three dollars in my backpack this morning and then I found out I could buy 3 bagels! That was exciting.  My coffee was also good today and I got to have an easy run.  So it was a good day.

 I realized sometimes I will just feel anxious and there is nothing I can do to control that except for pray.  The feeling is not from God and not from myself, but just a feeling that I sometimes feel.  I am a human. Dur. Then I felt kind of anxious the whole day.  I felt bad because it was such a beautiful and free day with little obligations and I spent almost the entire day just itching in my skin.  But it is okay because it was just a day and now it is almost over.

Things I am still excited for in the rest of the day!

Going to Leaf Kitchen with Megan! It is supposed to be really good and have all local ingredients AND be affordable.  Really? Why have I not been there? BECAUSE YOU ARE A FOOL. So now I get to!

Also there are two COMPLETE HOURS of good television on nbc tonight.  Dream big Betsy.

Dream BIG.

RAY GUN ! FRICK YES.

So today I was strolling through the ped mall trying to procrastinate studying for my anatomy test even further.  When all of the sudden I see RAYGUN (the self-proclaimed "greatest store in the universe") but I was so excited! And I did not even know there was one coming to Iowa city so that made it all the more exciting for me. It is right next to Giavanni's and the moen group.

Also then I was walking further and I saw my favorite dairy queen worker! I did not want to say hi because we have never interacted outside of dairy queen, but he makes ultra super blizzards with an extreme amount of extra toppings at no charge.

Check it out yoooo ( shirts from RAYGUN!!!)

Des Moines: Hell Yes!


















Iowa City: All our Creativity went into the name.

ALSO. Even though I do LOVE LOVE LOVE the DQ at the bottom of the hill because it is the best one in the world.  The BEST BEST icecream in iowa city is dane's dairy. Unfortunately we did not go until the last weekend of the season and now have to wait until March when it opens on my 21st birthday! Phooey. But Last time we got blackberry softserve and it was fabulous and i got vanilla wafers and coconut in it. Shyummy.

The end.

God is GOOD.

Things that I can think about that make me really happy.

That the holy spirit is inside me and every person that I meet.

That it is fall and I can be perfectly briskly cold in a refreshing way.

The earth is beautiful.

Someday I may live on a farm.

My new fish is named tinkle.

I get to learn everyday!

I have really nice friends and i love my family.

It is legging and sweatshirt weather. My personal fave!

God is in control of my life.

think of these things= instant happiness!!!

Power Ranger Clarification

When I was a child (I think that is still this time very possibly).  

When power rangers used to be on television I would watch it every day after school.  It was the greatest show ever invented.  Despite that my picture portrays Katie and I as pink power rangers, in reality this was not true.  I was ALWAYS the yellow power ranger because she did not wear a skirt.  Since the Halloween store only carried pink and red ranger costumes we both had to settle for pink.  However, one year later our grandma made us home made costumes.  There were two and one was yellow.  Katie was the red ranger. Baha.

Go go power rangers!

Des Moines

So last weekend I decided to go home to Des Moines. I found out it means river of the monks. hm. I had a lot of fun and I love seeing my family.:) Some of my favorite things we did were these:


Go to la mie

La mie is my favorite lunch spot and lunch is my favorite meal. Plus everything is VERY reasonable priced. Also I got to go with my grandma Mimi.  I love when I get to see her!


Lay in bed for the entire day while it rains and leave the windows open!




We also went to Dos Rios and Star bar.  They were good also.  I guess we ate out maybe too much!

This is what I got. It was yummy.  They also make home made guacamole in front of you!

On Sunday we went to the Bazaar in the east village.

It was a lot of fun.

Watch children's soccer games and lay on the ground.

Also I really liked just being with my family.

Happiness is only real when shared

"Happiness is only real when shared."


-Into the wild.


This is one of my favorite parts of the book/movie into the wild.  This is actually one of my favorite books. When I watch it I feel that I relate so strongly to the main character in the sense that I always want to get out and explore and see the world and be in tune with nature and spirituality.  


I JUST REALLY WANT TO LIVE.  I feel so often we do not live because we are trying so hard to plan living or anticipate experiences that we prevent ourselves from being to appreciate the present moment in any way.  And silence is good.  Silence is necessary for the human spirit to thrive and learn and grow.  But all of Supertramp's greatest moments were the ones he shared with others.  


If we spend all of our lives and times trying to think of how we want to be and are only concerned all this time about ourselves and everything we are doing then we are missing the entire purpose of life.  It is true that life is meant to be lived, but not lived alone, it is meant to be shared.  It is pretty easy to get caught up in the selfish monotony of routine, but even if we explore the world to the very deepest and greatest depths it really means nothing if we keep it all for ourselves. This life is not meant to be just for ourselves.  It is through the love of others that I feel most loved, most beautiful, and most alive.  I feel sad that Alexander McCandless had to die right after he realized this, but it is a truth he left with many.

I love my goldfish.

Today I got a bubble face gold fish.  His cheeks are not this big yet, but I really love him.  He is very beautiful and I bought him a big bowl and some multi-colored blue rocks.  Today I felt sad, but whenever I look at my friend he makes me happy.


I love my goldfish.

Name possibilities:
Sir Edmund
Bartholomew
Edgar
Hubert
Franklin
Uncle Bob


I think I will name him Hubert after the biker that I met who was biking across the country from California to New york. His name was Hubert and he was a vegetable farmer and he was a very nice person.

Today I realized I am having the largest amount of stress and pain not at all due to running but much more because of my severely heavy backpack.  Why would one ever need ten books for one semester?

Anyhow, this website taught me the proper way to use backpacks to avoid these things:


-Use both straps
-tighten so it is as close to the body as possible ( I usually let mine sag quite a bit...)
-pack light ( I do not do this either)
-Organize and use all the compartments (You mean you don't put everything in the big one??)
-When bending forward bend at the knees- this is proper backpack bending technique
-practice back strengthening exercises to prevent strain


backpack stress and solutions website!


On a 'lighter' note (gosh my humor is awesome today)


Today I had cucumber water and it was AWESOME.  I think it was made my a company called hint or something like that...

day dream

Some good things happened today.  One was that it felt like fall outside and that made me very happy.  I actually was too COLD and had to go get a green tea which I then realized is the best ever and I wish that I could drink it every day.


I then went through the day in an elated mood, but also I realized when I am that way I need to be careful to not get overly excited about things or else I just let myself down and have all these ideas that will never come true and then I am exhausted.  So I tried to keep my excitement to a low simmer while I daydreamed during class.


Some things I dreamed about.....


Living on a farm and growing organic vegetables to sell to farmer's markets.  I could also have my own chickens and eat their eggs. However, I do not really like cow milk so I probably would not have a cow. The simple life sounds like zen and awesome.

Then I started thinking about when college running is over staying an extra semester so I can study abroad somewhere after I learn the language.  I think I would like to go to Southern America.


After that my mind wandered to how all of the things that I really want to do with my life do not even require a college degree, but then I realized I am very thankful that I get to come to school and learn all of these wonderful things and become educated.  It is such a blessing and I should not take it for granted.  No matter what I decide to do I have gained so many perspectives that are already allowing me to grow and learn.

Then I decided I wanted to explore the world.


Then I was reading the bible and I came across this passage. "It is he that made us and we are his." It was in Psalms 100.  I really love it and how simple it is.  Nothing else really matters.


I was then happy to go to practice and have an easy short workout.  I felt as though I loved running and the briskness and the feeling when I can feel the very first single drop of sweat roll down my cheek and I can keep my shirt on and be comfortable and the air is fresh and so wonderful.  It was me in love with the world.


Later on I felt homesick when my mom left. :( So that was no good.  Then I did poorly on my online quiz so that was sad also.  And then we went to a speaker that talked about beauty and athletes and loving yourself.  It was sad to think about how many people are constantly comparing themselves with others and never being satisfied or thinking they are good enough.  I know I have done this at times, but also it just really made me want to love everyone and show them how beautiful they are.


It was called beauty mark:
Beauty Mark

Doing Nothing at all

Sometimes I just like doing nothing at all and not really thinking about anything at all.  Thinking can be exhausting and while it is sometimes necessary, I think I like to let my mind become blank for a while.  Some good ways to do this are:


Watching episodes of Felicity which my wonderful friend Molly Manning introduced me to.  It is about Felicity's four years in college. I love felicity

Another good way to turn your brain off is just by laying in bed and listening to music like The Glorious Unseen, Ugly Casanova, Ray LaMontagne, or Vanessa Carlton


Some other things that help me to think clearly and get rid of the noise are DRIVING, PAINTING, NAPPING, RUNNING, or COOKING :)


Try these things.

Angus, Thongs, and Sex gods

So I was wasting away my life on Netflix, one of the greatest things ever invented when I realized one of my favorite past time books, ANGUS, THONGS, AND FULL FRONTAL SNOGGING  had been made into a movie over two years ago.  How was I so oblivious to this very obvious truth?!?! Anyhow, I immediately added to my list of movies for after I finish all of the Felicity seasons. 


 I highly recommend the reads:  (I REALLY REALLY enjoyed them when I was fourteen)

The movie is going to be questionable since the 'similar tastes' were bandslam (worst movie EVER) and aquamarine.  I may actually not watch it but you can read about it here!!! yay!

imdb: Angus, thongs, and full frontal snogging

Hello WORLD

Okay. I do NOT hate football.  I just do not enjoy tailgating. So all of my neighbors who were yelling profanities at me for unnecessary reasons can just try to be nicer.

Anyhow. I found out that the Coralville Starbucks maybe happens to have only two other people in it and is very sunny and nice.  Also it was destiny that I came here because the girl working is named BETSY ANN.  That's my name!

So then to put off writing a paper about social theorists from the 1500s to 1700s I decided to look up the meaning of my name.

Betsy means consecrated to God
Ann means gracious

Find your name meaning!

Starbucks coffee is another thing that I am a really big fan of.  If I were a famous person then I would endorse it in a flip ultra second.  They are also a fairtrade promoter which makes me like them even 100 times more. To learn more about this go here:

Responsibly Grown Coffee

Lastly and possibly most importantly I love the mail person and Mama.  Today they went through tons of tailgaters to deliver my package.  I opened my package and it was one of the greatest things I have ever received and I love it as much as you can love a possession.

This is what I got:

Yeah.  An elmo snuggie. I know that it is awesome.

My favorite way to start the day

This website is really great to look at before you start the day (if it is too cold to walk down to the neighborhood park).  It is actually great for anytime of day!  It is just a good way to reflect and be thankful and meditate.  Also I am constantly reminded to live in the moment which is so necessary for me!

And how ironic that this was the reading for the day...

1 Corinthians 9:19, 22:27

For though I am free with respect to all, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I might win more of them. To the weak I became weak, so that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, so that I might by any means save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, so that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race the runners all compete, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win it. Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable garland, but we an imperishable one. So I do not run aimlessly, nor do I box as though beating the air; but I punish my body and enslave it, so that after proclaiming to others I myself should not be disqualified.

It is funny how we are most free when we live for others and things outside of ourselves.  When I run for myself and my pride I become anal and obsessive, but when I run with purpose to glorify God and allow those around me to guide me, then I can be free. Same with just life in general....

Sacred Space

La croix

I am drinking this right now and it is really good so I am blogging about it.  Lemon is good, but I think my favorite is the grapefruit one!

Also La croix means "the cross"  I learned this when looking at google images and seeing many cross images until I came across a sparkling water can...

One of those days

So today I cried.
Several times. Once in class, then once in my room, then once on the way to practice.  I guess I do not even know why I was crying.  A lot of times I over think things or think I can do everything on my own or  try to find myself in things or in ideas or something.  I sometimes imagine this person doing all these things.
I sometimes hate running and dread it greatly.
I sometimes hate myself and dread myself greatly.
It is funny how things we normally love so much can turn into these enemies and things we want so badly to be away from or free from.  Today I was thinking very negative thoughts about going to practice and doing a workout, and then I got to practice.  At first I was still being a debbie and having a self pity party but then all of my friends kept talking to me or asking how my day was.  We started our warmup and it was a beautiful day outside.  Running did not feel all so bad.  As we went through stretches the building anticipation of doing something hard was setting in so I went to the bathroom and while I was sitting there I decided that I was not in control of what would happen and to just focus on what I can do to help the team and to rely on others for strength.  And then I felt good, really good actually.

It is funny how when I think of people other than myself so much can change.  Going to practice every day is so great.  All my best friends are there and they love me and want me to be a better person and a better runner.  Today when I did not have the strength of my own self to run I was able to use some of theirs.  Today when I started crying Amanda did not make me feel stupid or embarrassed, but instead loved and cared for.  So who knows.  Maybe I will keep running forever, or maybe I only have two more years of it, but there are much far greater things to concern myself with.

I can not do anything on my own and I just feel so special to have others who are so much better people than I and can help me learn and face my fears and struggles.

So today I went from feeling like this:

To feeling like this:

And it was all because other people love me.  thank you God for such great friends. :)

Salad fingers

o salad fingers.... it has been far too long!

A slightly creepy, but very entertaining cartoon....

spoons

'friends'

nettles

Blueberry cornbread muffins

Okay I do not know who you are or if you have ever had a blueberry cornbread muffin, but I just did and it was one of the best things I have ever tasted.  I got it at the Java House so I would firstly recommend going there and getting one. HOWEVER, if you can not for whatsoever reason make it there then here is a recipe I found....  I think it would probably prove true that the more butter and sugar you add the BETTER.  But if you do not have the leisure to take a nap after than maybe not.  anyhow I found a similar looking one here!

Blueberry cornbread!!

Beauty

I’ve got a perfect body, though sometimes I forget
I’ve got a perfect body cause my eyelashes catch my sweat


-Regina Specktor (Folding Chair)


So many people worry about it so much but really really every person is so beautiful.  Today I was noticing my mother is really very beautiful and so are my sisters.  All my friends are so beautiful, and then when I thought about it so is everyone I know.  And the more I know them and get to know them the more beautiful they become.  But still we are all always wanting more and more and to look better but is it really for ourselves? because honestly I feel the most beautiful when I am wearing a sports bra and am sweaty and it is fall and I just have gotten done running or when it is really early and I still have crusties in my eyes and coffee is so good and it is brisk.  


"Our bodies now disappoint us, but when are raised they will be full of glory.  They are weak now, but will be full of power. They are natural human bodies now, but when they are raised will be spiritual." -1 Corinthians 15:43


Every person will have wrinkles and pimples and fat and hair and things we think gross.  But they are just natural human things and they are great.  And they are kinda cool too!