Monday, December 20, 2010

A good old fashioned pity party

Sometimes it is just necessary.  After a week of finals and choas.  Biting four fingernails until they bleed.  Getting the worst grade I have ever gotten since being in college in a class I spent as much time studying for as all my other classes combined.  Sleeping not enough.  It was bound to happen.  So yesterday I woke up and my mom hugged me and I cried a good cry, but then it was time to go to mass so I had to stop.  I thought it was over.  do do do do do do.

.... go to church, go running, start to learn how to do weights that russell the lifting coach assigned.  My little sisters came down to be pleasant and I told them to go away because I was being a b**** and did not want to be and they did not do anything wrong but I was just so unpleasant.  O SHOOT. here it is.  halfway through the trying to learn fabulous new medicine ball exercises the tears began to form, the rests became longer, the sitting on the ground increased......bam.  A full throttle cry session right on the yoga mat in all my running clothes.  Thank God for parents and towels that absorb snot and GOD.

It's funny how you try so so so hard to avoid this happening.  I mean all week I would study and when not studying I would make crafts or wrap prezzies or bake or shovel or run errands.  I was rushing around not thinking and turning my music up so loud to avoid falling when I know I am going to fall sometime anyhow. Am I trying to fool myself into thinking I'm perfect ooooorrr...? Well anyhow.  The pity party lasted the greater portion of the entire day and ended with the consumption of large amounts of my aunts turtle cheesecake, a food coma sleep session lasting over ten hours, and VERY puffy eyes this morning.

And of course, most importantly, the reminder that.... I can do all things through Christ (Phil. 4.13) and also I can do NOTHING without him on my own.

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