Sunday, February 27, 2011


It's kinda cool how things work out.  I have really been doubting running lately and my abilities and purpose and meaning and if it is a purpose of my life or how it plays out.

So this week was the week of big tens and I had no idea what to expect.  I thought I could win.  Or I could get 8th. Or I could last.  I did not feel so sure I would have success as usual.  I felt uneasy, and so I prayed for strength all week.  I went into the race a little nervous, but nothing compared to my normal nervousness.  I was just going to run, and God would provide me with the strength I needed.

And he did.  I ran without fear, I enjoyed the race, and I enjoyed watching other people race.  And I did well. I was happy even though I did not win because it was not my own.  I did nothing.  I have nothing to boast about.  Several weeks ago I ran my slowest time ever on the "fastest track in the world."  I am thankful that God allowed me to feel uncertainty and doubt so I could realize several things.

-Running is just running.  Every other person is nervous and trying their very hardest and the beauty is in watching everyone's desire and ability to compete.  Someone will win, but that really does not matter.
- I will be happy if I try my very hardest.
-I can do nothing on my own.  We are all a vessel made for God, created to glorify him and not make ourselves miserable.
- I can not be in control.  I can try very hard to be and be anal and obsessive and controlling and hate myself and the way I am , but this is because I was not created to know.  God has a purpose for Him and to follow it and reach our potential we have to trust in the Lord.
- I love the people that surround me.
- Running has taught me more about the Lord and my faith than any other experience.  through gaining humility and perseverance and so much else I realize (sorry about corniness) that life is just a very long race.  There are bad ones and good ones.

The Hawks Soar....

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